Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Marked Girl

helllllllloooooooooo! should I be writing college essays instead of staying up to talk to you assholes? yes. yes i should. should I aim to not use the word asshole, have better grammar, and maybe use punctuation correctly because colleges will be searching me and find this and be appalled? yes. yes i should. was that a run on sentence? yes. yes it was. but in all honesty this is the only place i have a voice, if someone finds it and doesn't like what they find I'm sorry. but this is me. poorly punctuated, unedited, and makes zero sense. but why do i write these intros pouring ou toy soul when you just want to hear about the book? fine you greedy gremlins. its almost midnight so sit back and grab a snack now if you want one. the marked girl by Lindsey Klingele is kind of an awesome book. for those of us who have ever felt like on day you'll pick faction or get your hogwarts letter...this is for you. THATS RIGHT GUYS. ONE OF THOSE AMAZING BOOKS WHERE THE NORMAL QUIRKY HUMAN GIRL REALIZES SHES SPECIAL. AND YOU CAN IMAGINE YOUR HER AND ANY MOMENT SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY WILL HAPPEN TO YOU AND YOU CAN KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL YOURE 80 AND YOU REALIZE LIFES PASSED YOU BY. real talk this is why i see a therapist. okay anyways I love books like this where they're based in the normal world with a normal person because you can imagine if only for a moment that it was you. I mean its not but dream on bud. so this chick Liv is a normal quirky human *see what i meant* she makes films and stuff and one day she's by this bridge with her friends when a portal for another dimension pops open like a daisy and a few good looking mother worlders come tumbling out. its LA so no one thinks its weird or anything. I'm pretty sure this is circa lindsey lohan's breakdown so.......the world had more important things to focus on. so turns out he's from an different universe and he needs to get home to save his family and do important things like fight monsters. one of the funniest aspects of the book is that the portal people are from a different world and know nothing about ours so its just 24/7 confusion about stuff like why can't I carry my sword into this diner. so they kind of end up teaming up to open this portal and it turns out she's a part of this and has a way bigger role than they thought. there are some side hoes who come in, he has some friends and she has some siblings who come help. theres a bad guy who's motives are still somewhat confusing to me but im assuming the sequel will clear it up. lets just go ahead and say its revenge. the writings clever, the plots interesting, and I can pretend I'm the main character and ill get to go on adventures on day. I would highly recommend reading this its one of my new favorite books. for real. read it. again I had people message me asking me if i get paid for this and I'm just saying I like it for cash. let me just say: who would pay for a page of grammatical error. I mean really have you read my writing? I one hundred percent don't get paid for this. and I review books I hate and I will happily make more hate reviews because as sick as this sounds I can channel my aggression by hating on books. so I guess tune in for proof I'm not getting paid for this. and other books I enjoy.
thanks for reading

Friday, August 4, 2017

The Impossible Knife of Memory

things you may be asking yourself in this moment:
1. is this really happening?
2. after months has she finally returned better than ever?
3. will she give us more reviews because she finally bought a laptop?
4. is it wrong to use your siblings tooth brush to scrub the dogs butt?
the answers to all of the above are yes. unless the sibling wronged you. then by all means take revenge. HELLOOOOOOOO PEOPLE OF THE WEB! oh how I've missed you all. so I basically haven't had a computer all summer but finally I was able to get one and now I have returned. so the funny thing about books is they all cost like 20$ so I've been living on wattpad..... however I did read this lovely book while i was at camp so we are gonna review it and you are gonna deal with it. so without further stalling and pointless intro I know you don't care about lets begin. the impossible knife of memory by Laurie Halse Anderson is not only great because it saved me from camp quest time when I (the hyper one) needed to be entertained. its great because its funny while still being raw. the story follows the main character Hayley who's dad is a military vet with intense ptsd issues (if that bothers you don't read this) they move around a lot because her dad drives an 18-wheeler. they finally decide to settle down and we get to see it is like for a free range chicken to be crammed into the glorious all American public school system. you would assume it'd be difficult for someone raised learning geography based on their truck roots to suddenly have their face shoved into a textbook. it sounds difficult and it is and Anderson does a great job describing how hard of a time it is for Hayley. Okay so life sucks when your incredibly street smart but now have calculus class to deal with, what next? Finn. the unrealistically attractive genius swimmer. thats what happens next. its kind of like watching a slow motion car accident because you know that two people who both have these inner demons can't possibly have a smooth relationship. the other shoe must fall. so with her dads ptsd acting up Hayley knows its time to move....but what if she finally has a reason to stay?? dun. dun. duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so its hilariously written and so many amazing descriptions of characters/situations/etc. it keeps you interested until the very last page. there is a ton of action and drama. overall the characters are well written and not annoying or anything. id stay definitely read this book if you need something to satisfy the "its summer and i can't go out because I'm broke and I need to read because it is an addiction that controls my life and will be the reason I go bankrupt" blues. I'm really happy to be back, request stuff y'all!!!
thanks for reading